Spurts & Fits

By: Andye Murphy

I'm no marathon runner-- not physically, not creatively.  I allow the Muse to seize me and drop everything to give into her call.  We affectionately call this spurting.

When an idea strikes, when the flow is gushing, I shift my day to allow this process to come in.  This creative burst of energy is blood pumping bliss and I need to step into the moment to receive it fully.  It's perfectly muse-like yes that I can stop whatever I was doing to be in the sweet craze of the moment.  But no other way quite works for me.  

I've been writing all my life.  When I was paid to do it, I had to make space daily to write ... and structure time and disciplne around it.  While a wee bit satisfying that I was being paid to do what I loved, I found myself much less productive.

Discipline and I aren't friends.  When I try, I fail and feel worse afterwards for not fulfilling what I set out to do.   I've found my bliss in following the siren call of the muse and trust she will appear exactly when I need her.   I demand passion and inspiration, baby!   And rather than beating myself up for doing what every "success" program suggest I do, I've found my sweet joy in spurting.

Luckily, my family respects this creative possession, knowing that I will soon re-emerge full of zest and zeal to rejoin them in the real world.  They have learned that while I will stay up writing until 4 in the morning, I will happily join at 10am to share my over joyous enthusiasm for what was brought in.  This may sound a wee bit crazy making, but its what makes mama happy and keeps our house interesting.

This is the way I've found my balance and am grateful to have recognized it.  When I'm not spurting, I fold the laundry, make dinner and play with my daughter and her friends.  I'm gentle on myself and recognize I'm not like everyone else... and why would I want to be?

I know who I am.  I know my strengths and limitations and have found a way of being that supports my family, my creativity, and my life calling.  And while every book and guru may prescibe a structure of goal setting and meeting achievements, I can happily tell them to step off, for my Muse knows perfectly where and when to find me.