"Being an adult means being unhappy... "

"...and other false beliefs"

By: Andye Murphy

My parents want only the best for me.  Their idea of "best" was succeeding in school to get a job that pays you well so one day you can retire and do the things that make you happy.

I, the muse-y kid that I am, categorically rejected this notion in favor of finding something that makes me happy and fulfills me emotionally, financially and spiritually.

I walked away from my job in corporate America to fully delve into my spiritual inclinations.  I had no idea where it would take me but knew I wanted to find out more than anything in this world.  My aunt's response to leaving corporate America?  "Do whatever you want, just make a lot of money doing it." 

Sometimes the simple act of pursuing what will make you happy instead of what is “safe,” “secure,” and “responsible” scares the pants off of people. 

Many of us have an ingrained belief that we must suffer for security. When you travel, you are asked if you are here for “business” or “pleasure” - why can’t it be both?

I work because I love what I do and firmly believe you can find work that brings you joy and pays the bills!  You don't have to separate the two.  

Financial success and personal fulfillment can co-habitate quite nicely. 

We don't endorse bucking the system, but instead an honest assessment of re-evaluating what feels true for you as an individual. 

Can you marry happiness and responsibility? Money and passion? 

We were at an event last week where a woman proclaimed, "I make money my lover!!"

Play with this and other silly notions to find what it is that will bring you the money you need and the true fulfillment you crave.  We are complex beings after all, let's embrace the paradox. 

Shoulda Coulda

The Case of the Dreaded "Shoulds"

By: Rachel Jensen

When you think about what you want to accomplish today, this week, this month - what falls under the "I really should...." column?



They might sound like:

• I really should clean out my junk drawer
• I really should take a look at my web analytics and evaluate my traffic sources
• I really should follow up with those contacts I met at the event

Think about each of the items on your list and then take a moment to feel the feelings associated with each one.  

Did you do it? 

Okay, I'll give you a minute.  

Now, as my colleague Andye always says, "feelings are power." If you feel reluctant to accomplish any of these tasks, take a moment to sit with the feelings and figure out why you may feel stuck from moving forward. 

Maybe you feel like you should clean out your junk drawer because your life feels cluttered and needs some organization.  Will cleaning out your junk drawer help you feel better? Then do it! If you sit with it some more and realize that your entire life feels too cluttered, and your junk drawer is just a symptom - then this is a bigger feeling that needs to be addressed. 

If you feel like you should look at your web analytics report but the task seems too daunting, then maybe figure out a way to automate the reports so the info you need is delivered to your inbox once a month, or hire someone to keep track of and analyze the information for you.  If you are afraid to look at your analytics because you know your traffic is stagnant and don't know where to turn - again this is representative of a larger part of your business that deserves some attention of its own. 

Don't want to follow up with those contacts at the event? Maybe you feel you should follow up with them out of politeness, obligation or to "get something out of" that networking event you just paid to attend.  Maybe you don't want to go through the process of writing out personalized notes or emails because you already have so much on your plate.  In that case, let yourself off the hook! Look them up on LinkedIn send a short message and add them to your connections and leave it at that.  Sometimes a feeling of obligation is just that - a feeling that if we don't follow through with something 100% then we aren't doing a good job.  Sometimes we simply need to just go easy on ourselves. 

To Recap

When we come upon daily tasks that feel unpleasant or we put off doing them - notice the feelings that arise.  They could spell out a few different things.

1. Procrastination on one small task might be a metaphor for another area of your life that needs attention

2. Feelings of reluctance or unpleasantness might indicate that you are unwilling to address a larger issue. This issue may easily be delegated or eliminated, or may need further introspection

3.  Sometimes we add things to our lists because we feel it's what "should" be done, when in fact we are making the task more complicated than it needs to be. Can the task be eliminated altogether?  Is there a more efficient or easier way to take care of it right away?

As females, we often feel pressure to do and be it all. If we can't do it perfectly, we'll wait for a time when we can do it the way it should be done. Look at these moments as an opportunity to check in with yourself to see what you may be ignoring, overlooking or giving yourself a hard time about.

By exploring these points of friction we have a gorgeous opportunity to gently move through these feelings, identify them and then let them go.  If we keep ignoring them, they will only fester.

What areas of your business fall under your "should" list and how can you work to move through them?

Let's Get (rid of) Busy

By: Rachel Jensen


"How are you doing?"

"How've you been?"

"What's new?"


From here on out, we declare that "Busy" is no longer an acceptable answer!

Because your life is filled with errands, meetings, chores and tasks does not mean that life is a fulfilling one.

Why does our society glorify that to be busy is to be a productive member of society and therefore worthy? I'm sure the good ol' Protestant work ethic plays a role in this, but being busy is increasingly harming our psyche.

We are tired, tapped out.  By packing our days to the gills we are teaching ourselves how to be uncomfortable with quiet, solitude and contemplation. Doing something for the sake of "doing" does not a happy life make. Your time is too valuable and your life too precious to whittle your life away task by lackluster task.

Instead, can we please focus on the quality of our tasks and the efficiency with which we perform them?  Can we work on not judging others or ourselves for taking a full hour to stare at the ceiling and daydream and learn to simply sit with our own thoughts?

How about we change how we evaluate the productivity of our day not by the number of items we cross off our to-do list but by the connections we make and the feelings of joy, satisfaction and contribution we feel at the end of the day? Better yet, how about we go through those pesky to-do lists and commit to throwing at least half of them out the window!

Don't get me wrong, I think we should always strive to create, contribute and participate.  But hell, let's admit that we make a lot of busy work for ourselves in order to keep up appearances and give value to our time.

Being too busy to live the rest of your life is not an accomplishment, and you deserve far better. Let's all take a moment to take a breath and reframe our thoughts to focus on what we can be doing to cut out the "busy" and insert the fulfilling.